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FRANK MANNERS

May 2, 2010

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8. At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

By nature, man is a social animal; because of this innate need to interact, there is nothing more important in the realm of manners than making others feel welcome. There is no surer way to jeopardize a relationship of any kind, public or private, than to ignore, shut out, or alienate a person. Though exclusion figures heavily in the ‘playground’ model of childhood, these experiences are generally scored as necessary lessons in proper and improper behavior. Everyone learns what it feels like to be left out, and is inclined to be sensitive to the issue in the future. The problem is that while we may not intentionally seek to make others feel unwelcome, we often neglect to employ the simple gestures that can instantly make those around us feel at ease. Try extending simple courtesies to your bitterest enemy, and watch as superior manners give you the upper hand. In the same vein, once someone has joined the group, they must be made to feel a part of it. This means that everyone’s voice can be heard, and the dialogue is open and balanced. Allowing others the opportunity to contribute is critical to any kind of group functioning properly. When you make others feel valued they will come to see themselves as part of your team, and they will become invested in your success. And just as in dodgeball, the more players on your side, the better your chances of winning the game.

Frank Manners articles address the 110 “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation” by which George Washington lived and present them in an applicable fashion, both for you, and your children.

Frank Manners

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